SNL - Welcome to Hell 歡迎來到地獄 (ft. Saoirse Ronan)

中譯byBone

Hey there, boys. We know the last couple months have been frickin' insane
嘿! 男孩們, 我們知道過去幾個月, 對你們而言很瘋狂
All these big, cool, powerful guys are turning out to be, what's the word? Habitual predators?
一堆大牌又酷又強的男人們被發現是, 該怎麼說, "慣性掠食者"?
Cat's out of the bag, women get harassed all the time!
謎底揭曉了, 女人經常被性騷擾!
And it's, like, dang, is this the world now?
對你們而言, 就像翻天覆地的感覺吧
But here's a little secret that every girl knows
但是告訴你們一個, 每個女孩都知道的小秘密
Oh, this been the damn world!
世界對女生而言一直都是這樣的!

It's freaky, it's narsty
感覺很怪異，很噁心
It's button-under-the-desk bad
像桌下有秘密鎖門鈕等級的糟糕
But this is our hometown, we'll show you around
但這領域我們熟得很, 我們來介紹帶你走一遭

Welcome to hell
歡迎來到地獄
Now we're all in here
現在我們都身在其中了
Look around, isn't it nice?
看看四周, 這樣不是很讚嗎？
It's a full nightmare
根本是場惡夢
Ain't it so coo-coo, playing this Guess Who?
隨時玩猜猜變態是誰, 這樣是不是很瘋狂？

Yeah, it's a lot, but it's what we got
是的, 這難以承受, 但我們都必須面對
Welcome to hell, hey!
歡迎來到地獄, 嘿

Oh, and this ain't a girl group
喔, 然後我們不是什麼女子團體
We just travel in a pack for safety
我們只是為了安全而結伴同行罷了
This is how I walk home at night
我晚上走路回家都是這樣把鑰匙拿成手指虎的

My dad gave me a pink gun, so there's a lot there
我爸買給我ㄧ支粉紅槍, 想想這有多沉重吧
My little trick is if someone's following me I put my arm up like this and I go [*groans*]
如果被人跟著, 我有個小技巧, 就是這樣把手擺頭上, 然後轉圈亂叫
'Cause then he'll be like, "she's not worth the trouble"
這樣他就會覺得, "她不值得我這麼麻煩"

Welcome to hell
歡迎來到地獄
Now you're in our boat
現在我們處境都一樣了
Look at that guy, what is he up to in that trench coat?
看看那傢伙, 他穿著那件風衣想搞什麼？
It's like a maze here, all full of boners
這裡就像個迷宮, 轉角就可能遇見老二

Hey, what was that?
等等, 那是什麼?
Whew, just a cat
沒事, 只是隻貓
Wait, who owns the cat?
等等, 誰把貓放在那的?
Could be a trap
可能是陷阱
Welcome to hell, hey!
歡迎來到地獄, 嘿

I guess it begs the question
我想這引出了一個問題
Woah, why didn't you say something, babygirl?
"哇, 寶貝女孩, 你們怎麼不早說?"
Well, dang, double daddy
喔, 爹地們
We definitely did, For hundreds of years (Aww, man)

我們當然有說, 說了好幾百年了 (有夠衰)
But I guess no one, like, cared
但我猜, 可能沒人在乎吧
Because it kept happening again and again (What?)
因為同樣的事, 持續一再發生 (什麼?)
And again! (Really?)
一而再 (真假?)
And again! (Oh, come on!)
再而三 (拜託一下好不好!)
Hey, just wanted to say I think what you guys are doing is really cool, I get it. Um, but you do know that it's, like, a million times worse for women of color, right?
嘿, 只是想說, 我覺得你們所做的事真的很酷, 我完全了解。 嗯, 但你們知道, 對有色人種女性來說, 這些情況要再糟糕一百萬倍, 對吧?
Oh, God, yes! Thank you for saying that
喔, 當然, 謝謝你這麼說
Well, let's get back into this!
好, 那我們回到主題上吧

Now House of Cards is ruined
現在紙牌屋已經崩塌了
And that really sucks
那真是糟糕喔
Well, here's a list of stuff that's ruined for us
下列是女性無法安心享受做的事:
Parking
停車
And walking
走路
And Uber
搭車
And ponytails
綁馬尾
Bathrobes
穿浴袍
And nighttime
夜晚時光
And drinking
飲酒
And hotels
旅館
And vans
和箱型車
Nothing good happens in a van
箱型車裡總是沒好事

Welcome to hell
歡迎來到地獄
This isn't news
這不是新鮮事
Our situation's been a nuisance since we got boobs
我們的狀況總是很困擾, 只因我們有乳房
That's why our mom was always so tired
這就是媽媽們總是很疲勞的原因
Grab all your friends, mace in your hands
帶上你好友們, 拿好防狼噴霧
Welcome to hell
歡迎來到地獄
Yeah, it ain't fair, but pull up a chair
是的, 這不公平, 但拉張椅子慢慢等
Welcome to hell, hey!
歡迎來到地獄, 嘿