SNL - Friendship Song 姊妹們的幹話時間 (ft. Nicki Minaj)

中譯 by Bone

*Skit:-Hey girl -Hey 

-嘿 姊妹 -嘿

-What's going on, babe? -Yeah you seem down 

-怎麼了寶貝? -對啊 你看來有點沮喪

You know that girl Donna, I've met her like a thousand times, and she just introduced himself to me.

你知道那個女生唐娜嗎? 我明明見過她好多次了, 但她剛剛卻像不認識般的向我自我介紹

-Rude! -Yeah, she knows who you are

-好過分! -對啊 她根本就知道你是誰

I know, It's kinda bumming me out
對啊 所以這讓我心情有點差

I see your sadness and I see your pain (huh!)

我能體會你的哀與痛

You can do no wrong, and she’s the one to blame

姊妹不會錯, 賤人才是禍首

And it hurts me to see somebody hurtin’ you (huh!)

看到你被傷害, 我也感同身受

She says she’s 27, but she’s 32

她自稱27, 其實早就32了

But my words are my knife (my knife, my knife)

酸言酸語是我的武器

Said I’m gonna cut deep

我要用力虧下去

And I’m gonna rip up her whole life

把她的人生譙個透徹

I’m gonna lift you up  By tearing her down (hey)

我要藉著貶低綠茶婊 來幫你打氣

I’m gonna dissect all her Instagrams I’ve found

一起徹底剖析嘲笑她的IG

She’s try’na have beach waves

她想弄出大波浪

But doesn’t have enough hair

但是髮量偏不足

When you are down in the gutter

當你跌落陰溝裡鬱卒

I’ll join you there (hey)

我會跳下去陪你

*Skit: Gosh, thank you girls! Honestly, insulting her made me feel so much better.

天啊 謝謝 姊妹們 老實說 幹譙她讓我感覺好多了

Oh my god, it's your ex...

天啊 你前任來了

Trent came?

川特來了?

Hey, good to see you. You look good!

嘿 很高興見到你 你看起來不錯

So do you!

你也是

Alright, see you around...

好喔 我們有空再聚

Ok, wow!

喔 哇

A true freak who's obsessed with you

真是個迷戀你的道地噁男

Chica-oo-ha honey  C’mon, let’s restart

醒醒啊 親愛的, 重新開始吧

He’s a small man with an empty heart

他是個內心空虛的渺小男人

And he’s always talkin’ ‘bout Paris (croissants)

整天裝逼空談巴黎 (可頌)

It’s like, dude, you did not invent Paris

拜託老兄, 巴黎又不是你發明的

And don’t you know

你不知道嗎

He’ll die alone in a psyche ward

那媽寶注定在瘋人院孤老一生

But if you get back together

但若你們重修舊好

Then we’re back on board

我們也會立刻前嫌盡釋

I’m gonna raise you up (huh!)  By blasting his ass

我會藉由臭罵渣男 來幫你打氣

Let’s go in on his mom

連他媽也一起罵

Nobody gets a pass

無人能倖免

That bitch drinks so much

那肖婆酗酒過量

They should take her car

他們該把她的車鑰匙拿走的

When my sister has been burned

當我的姊妹被傷

No burn goes too far (hey)

怒火反撲無上綱

*Skit: Thanks, you guys, god, he sucks!

謝謝你們 天啊 他爛透了

Yes! The worst...

對啊 最爛了

Wait, is that Tania from your work?

等等 那不是你同事譚雅嗎

I had to cover her shift today, Because she said she had a "family emergency"

我今天還要多代她的班, 因為她宣稱"家裡有緊急狀況"

What?

什麼

Hey guys! What's wrong?

嘿 姊妹們 怎麼了?

Oh, hey, Nicki. We were just talking about this girl--

嘿 妮姬 我們剛說到這女的...

Oh, girl, I don't even need to know who it is--
姊妹 什麼都不必說 我來

[Verse 3: Nicki Minaj]

I’ll rip up her life, yo, get the knife

我來弄她全家, 喲 家私拿來

‘Cause you low-key my wife, you my bitch for life

敢犯我親友, 我讓你後悔一生

You a ten, she a two, life sucks for her

你滿分十, 她不過兩分衰尾貨色

It’s goin’ down, when we come out, it’s up for her

咱們撩下去, 她最好給我準備好

Let’s punch her in her face and take her jewels

我們去揍她臉, 順便搶她首飾

It’s May, we don’t play with them April Fools

都五月了, 我們沒在跟你愚人節(開玩笑)

Uh, you should’a seen her face

啊 你該看看她的表情

It was me, Aidy, Katy, and Tina Fey

姊妹出動無法擋

You know you’re name stay in a hater mouth, boo

你知道的, 酸民就是嘴秋, 那又怎樣

I hate her nose, I hate her eyes, I hate her mouth too

我討厭她的鼻, 她的眼, 她的大嘴巴

I hate her stupid wig, I hate her shoes, too

我討厭她的蠢假髮, 也討厭她的破鞋

Is she ugly, lame, or musty? Choose two

她是醜, 是爛, 還是落伍? 三選二

Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Honey, we caught the shade that you threw

孬妹只敢暗虧, 還以為人家不知道

Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh

I love my best friend, bitch, screw you

我愛我的閨蜜, 八婆你去死

[Chorus 1: Kate McKinnon, Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant]

I’m gonna lift you up,  By tearing them down

我會藉由臭罵他們 來幫你打氣

I’m gonna hit on all, All the flaws we’ve found

我會挖遍細數 對方的所有缺陷

You think we’re toxic

你覺得我們太毒?

But no, bitch, that’s you

屁啦, 你才是

Don’t you know talking shit is how

難道你不懂, 姊妹們的幹話時間

We all get through

是我們熬過低潮的生存之道

By Kate McKinnon, Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant

(Excellent Haim parody which is even better than the actual thing!)